5 Ways to Make the Most of Summer Visitation Time
When parents live a significant distance from one another after a divorce, a dad with visitation rights may be given three weeks, six weeks, two months, or even longer during the summer months. While seeing your children for this length of time can be amazing, expect bumps along the way.
Older children may have summer camps or summer school that must be worked around. If you do not see your child regularly during the other months of the year, it can feel awkward on both sides. You may be unsure of what activities to plan, and reconnecting with your children can take some time.
Ideally, you and your ex will work together to schedule time in the summer months that works around everyone’s schedule. Courts generally agree with whatever the parents decide, so long as it is not detrimental to the children. The "best interests of the child" standard is nationwide, regardless of the state you live in. If you and your ex cannot agree, the court will intervene.
You may be required to notify your ex in writing two or three months before the summer break to work out any scheduling differences. If your children have camps or other pre-scheduled summer activities, your time may be broken into two or three "blocks" of time. If you are having difficulty with scheduling, call your family law attorney to help you get the visitation you are entitled to.
How to Ensure the Summer Is Full of Great Memories
While making plans is always good, leave some time for spontaneous activities. Spending an evening watching the sky, roasting marshmallows, and catching fireflies may make a bigger impression on your children than a full day at Disneyland. Consider how to make summer vacation memorable for you and your children.
- Begin making plans early so you, your ex, and your children can all have some input into what the summer will look like. Even if you and your ex have a generally contentious relationship, remember that this is about the children and your time with them, so go out of your way to be cordial and flexible about dates and activities. To the extent possible, clear your work schedule so you can really enjoy the time with your children.
- Consider your children’s ages, preferences, and needs. Ask your children what they want to do when they come to visit, and then add at least some of those activities to your summer plans. Younger children may need more structure and a set routine, while older children may have specific activities in mind.
- Be willing to compromise. Flexibility is the key to your relationship with your children and your ex. Go the extra mile to accommodate everyone’s schedules and preferences. If one of your children wants to go to a specific summer camp but it will take some of your time in the summer, consider the request carefully before reflexively saying "no." A compromise now just might result in a compromise later that is in your favor.
- Schedule some fun new activities and experiences. You do not have to schedule trips to expensive theme parks—although that is also fun! What are your children interested in? Most children love water parks, camping, and experiencing new things. Depending on where you live, you may not have to travel a great distance to find things your children will love. Something as simple as picking berries at a local farm or having a picnic can allow you to spend time with your children in an atmosphere conducive to really getting to know them.
- Communicate frequently with your ex and the children through phone calls, emails, in-person meetings, or co-parenting apps to discuss summer plans and make adjustments when changes occur.
Contact a Dedicated Child Custody Lawyer
No matter how carefully you plan your summer, there will be challenges. Predicting how your children will respond the first couple of summers after the divorce can be difficult, so expect the unexpected. The good news is you do not have to navigate this difficult situation on your own. An experienced divorce lawyer can provide the support and guidance necessary to ensure your summer is one for the books.
